So You Want to Be a District Superintendent!

Half-awake in the night, it occurred to me that probably there are a lot of young people out there aspiring to become a United Methodist district superintendent (D.S.). The Lutherans call the same people "bishops"; for this reason alone, I sometimes wish I'd been born a Lutheran.

Sure, a few kids want to be cowboys or cowgirls, doctors, lawyers and teachers, but the great bulk of young adults want to be superintendents. And rock musicians. There is just no getting around this. So it seems helpful to fill such folks in on the best and worst aspects of superintending.

Best parts
Bringing order to chaos
Asking the right question
Generous and hospitable Christian community
Strengthening the pastoral leadership in every church
Watching a pastor and congregation get really excited about ministry
Attending worship that is authentic, imaginative and Spirited
Doing justice, loving kindness and walking humbly with God
Glorifying God in every place

Worst parts
Bringing chaos to disorder
Providing the wrong answer
Carrying the unhappiness or dysfunction of a church around in your guts
Nagging some pastors to get reports in ("the dog ate my Table 2 report!!")
Driving a whole lot of miles in the leased car
Having no real home-church during your tenure
Attending worship that is lackluster, exhausted and "obligatory"
(blah, blah, we sing in unending, merciless verses...)
Hoping to God that God is being glorified somewhere!


And now, youngster, let me show you how to rock out on that steel guitar!